alone with my mournful mind

I was too little
I was too late

I was tentatively reaching out for your turned back
too engrossed in studying where it had been bruised and where loved
to notice what you were running towards

I was the eager overseer
watching your every brave step
every strong smile
every tyrannical tear
that in the midst of the immobilizing beauty missed your fiery intentions

I was resting under your shade
while you were busy growing towards the sun
now I can’t see it any longer
you evolved into magnificence
I stagnated into loneliness

you were a question I didn’t get to answer
a problem someone else was called up to the board to solve

I am left alone with my mournful mind and your shaken shackles
amidst our self-constructed jungle of uncertainty
only keeping my wild screams at bay because of my trembling nails digging into my skin

So I will let my steady mind
support you through the wilderness of life
all the while my heart will continue
as the tides continue to come back for more
as the trees continue to grow leaves despite knowing they’ll eventually depart again
to ache for what could’ve been